Mensez – Man says what?!

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Just the other day I was scolding myself for not reading enough Trump-unrelated news. While I was clearly inhabiting a filter bubble until last November, I am now inhabiting a bubble in which everyone desperately tries to keep track of the orange man and his adventures. Yet once in a while other white cis hetero men poke the bubble, demanding some attention for themselves and once in a blue moon their cause is so stupid, that I would somewhat prefer to just stay with The Donald and his fuckery. Today is one of those days and Daniel Dopps is the man. To make a (hopefully) short story even shorter: Dopps developed a lipstick with which women should glue their labia minora shut during menstruation. This, so Dopps, is a positive thing (in case you were wondering whether I hang out too much on SM blogs), because it would mean that menstruating people (my words obviously) would not need „diapers and plugs“ anymore (his words obviously). Now I wish, I were more articulate on this than I am. However fact is, that I am utterly lost for words. I am not sure how anyone with a functioning understanding of female anatomy could have gotten to the conclusion that a.) glueing skin shut = sorta like using tampons b.) having to use a lipstickish-thingy to do this on yourself would be more practical, comfortable or faster than tampons, cups or pads (especially WHILE you are on your period) c.) this could be effective enough without being dangerous for various reasons I do not want to explore mentally. In many ways I have nothing to add to the excellent article by Kavin Senapathy for Forbes Magazine. What I do have to say however is that, it is astonishing how confidently men tell women what to do with their bodies and also how to do it. I would claim that I am fairly well informed about male anatomy, yet time and time again I find myself not understanding aspects of life with a penis. Why do certain movements hurt while others do not? How do men survive wearing boxer shorts made out of stiff cotton? What is life like when you don’t have a whole between your legs, but instead a miniature sized elephant trunk which evolution sort of stapled to your groin? I think, if I were to design one of those willy-protectors that ice hockey players need, I would sit down with some friendly men and ask them about their balls. Unlike Mister Dopps, who sounds like he only every spoke with women  about their cycle and genitals using dumbo euphemisms. So how ya doing when the red flag’s up?  But hey, I don’t know about you, but my new year’s resolution was to focus a bit more on the positive side of people and so I am sure he meant totally well. He might be one of those men who just care about women and want their best. He could be the white version of Arunachalam Muruganantham, the man from southern India who spent years creating sanitary pads for his wife, even testing his creation on himself. In the spirit of that I would like to make Mister Dopps a suggestion: A Gentleman lipstick© that glues upper lip to lower lip for that time of the month, when men have stupid ideas about women. And if he can engineer the lipstick in a way in which only urine dissolves it, I might be able to reconcile this story with my daily dose of Trump gossip.

 
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